Me Thinks

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Matrimonial...

I think 80% of the people who advertise in the matrimonial section of newspapers and magazines sound funny and I don't think they even realize it. I am thinking thats because the ones who give an ad there are not the ones who are actually in the market but some well-wisher does that job for them. So they don't sound honest most of the times and they end up sounding funny. (Remember I said 80%?)

If a guy says "Wanted - a girl who looks like Aishwarya Rai and can do some good cooking in the house for a fat guy", that sounds honest. Fair enough. Hey, no one has the right to find fault with this as its upto the individual to say what they expect of a life-partner and one needn't be politically correct though this guy would probably get married when pigs start flying. Instead, what you see is something like this. "Wanted - a slim homely girl for a slightly plump, good-looking guy". If you look at the actual meaning of homely, the dictionary would say "plain or unattractive in appearance" but in matromonial lingo, it means a girl who puts the home first or a girl who does good house-keeping or a girl who has a neatly oiled, combed and plaited hair with no lipstick or a girl who doesn't have a boy-cut/short-hair/bob-cut or one who doesn't wear a sleeveless top and a tight jean. It could mean any of the above and slightly plump most probably means fat. And if someone can't be categorised as "fair", he/she is automatically "wheatish".

And you also find - "Wanted - a girl who is traditional yet modern for a teetotaller earning Rs....". I don't get what traditional yet modern means. Very subjective indeed.

Coming back to "wheatish", the equation "fair skin = beauty" is so ingrained in our Indian minds that it would take at least 2 centuries for people to think otherwise. Why blame the person who advertises thus, can anyone realistically think they'd get married if they specify they are dark? Thats sad but true. In fact, guys at least have a repreive sometimes. (If you get a fat pay check or have inherited some property) But girls have to be fair-skinned. Wonder how this fair-skin obsession started!!

When the parents of yet-to-be-married-but-in-the-market people meet, they discuss how difficult it is to get their kids married these days. After all, they say, this generation expects a lot. But how many of them would agree to a love marriage without fights or tears? We, 20 somethings and 30 somethings, are the ones that are sandwiched between arranged-marriage-only and love-marriage-only generations. We gotta be traditional yet modern I guess.

50 Comments:

Anonymous Bubby said...

Deepz,

Traditional yet modern kku ennoda explanation:

The 'Penn' who does varalakshmi poojai in the morning for her husband fasting for some 8 hours, chants 'saraswati namastubhyam' kaal the vizhundufyes @ the end of the poojai, ottifyes taali and in the evening joins her husband for a drink @ geoffrey's (no no she SHOULD NOT drink.. what are you thinking.. puleeeeeez.. she orders sweet lime soda when hubby orders 'sarakku') and sways to(no no no dancing.. deepz again, what are you thinking?)Pinkfloyd's 'We dont need no education' [that is a modern woman]. You got it a? Ippo sollu ne traditional-a modern-a?

i know many girls in their 20s and their parents who still say "avaa (groom's side) ellam romba broad minded . (the girl) jeans pottukkalaaam nnu sollita.romba nallavaa.. (seeraee)ONNUMEE venaamnu solitta"

10:48 PM  
Blogger thennavan said...

So we write on matrimonial stuff at the same time?

:-)

1:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

yes we 20-30 somethings are the one who have to be both traditional and modern :)

Yes as you said - homely girls are in the top matrimonial bracket :)

Hari

3:37 AM  
Blogger D The Dreamer said...

Awesome, is all what I would say. I intend to take on a different class of people shortly. keep visiting my blog ;)

3:57 AM  
Blogger NaiKutti said...

nice post... how does this definition for traditional yet modern: it means that u act in traditional ways infront of the older generation and in modern ways in front of the new generation

6:10 AM  
Blogger ashok said...

Deepa, did u read this
MATRIMONIAL ADS PROMISE SO MUCH

:-)

7:03 AM  
Blogger I said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

9:20 AM  
Blogger Casement said...

The smartest girls are those who fit the definition of 'modern yet traditional', as given by bubby and naikutty. Being smart, does, ofcourse involve a lot of dishonesty:))

Good that you mentioned the other meaning of 'homely'. I have sometimes wanted to stand on the pulpit and shout that 'homely' also means unattractive, whenever someone said they were looking for a homely girl.

12:50 PM  
Blogger Casement said...

LOL@SS! Poor fella, looks like the nth victim of TM.com.

12:52 PM  
Blogger Deepa said...

lol...Bubby. Now I get it. What would I do without you in life?
Mukundan, is it great minds think alike or fools seldom differ?;-)
Hari, idhula kooda top 10 irukka? Actually, its believable.
Thanks D the D.
Karthik, thats so true.
Ashok, I fell off the chair laughing after I read that. Thanks for the link.
SS, you are at it again. Now you know why I like you.;-)
Casement, thats true. I wish there was a better word for dishonesty.;-)

3:31 PM  
Blogger Ajay said...

we say ladies r the fairer sex..maybe that explains the obsession we stronger and unfairer sex have...:(

5:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I pity with this guy SS, I cannot believe someone can have such rotted mind.

11:11 PM  
Blogger dazedandconfused said...

On this traditional and modern thing...many ads say (yeah, have read them too) 'traditional values and modern outlook'. Now what does that mean??

12:19 AM  
Anonymous bubby said...

dazed and confused

adudan sonnene, varalakshmi poojai (traditional value)
kanavan sarakku adicha ivanga sathukudi juice kudikkanum
(maadern outlook)

2:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

'sex samiyar' to start with...then 'aringar anavin thambi' for a while...and now simply 'SS'....funny dude.

3:44 AM  
Blogger The Talkative Man said...

if u are 23 and read that crap, u need a brain transplant
ROTFL :)))

To the anonymous well-wisher,
AAT speaks a lot more truth than those matrimonials, just that his style is different.

11:01 AM  
Blogger Me said...

lol ....bubby kalakings....

11:06 AM  
Blogger Chanakya said...

The difficulty part in looking for a partner is near universal. I know people of either sexes, all castes and creeds, and educational backgrounds to find it tough to look for a partner.

Wonder why!

2:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ppl, if you want some fun, go here and read all those comments

http://www.ibnlive.com/comments/comment_read.php?id=7413#

2:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

SS,

I know some of the matrimony ads can be funny and irritating but cannot accept the fact that girls who read Harry Potter and sing carnatic music need brain transplants. Do you think you are being funny? Look buddy, would you marry a girl who would strip dance and read novels on SEX all the time?
I am sure if you continue to have an opinion like that, the gal who gonna marry or has already married you need brain transplant !!!

9:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anon 1: thanks for that link. I lol-ed reading those 200+ comments. deepz do read it. crazy stuff.
yanperra inbam...

3:02 AM  
Blogger Swathi said...

having recently met a guy who in fact argues that the best thing to go about getting married is thro' parents, wat more can I say??
n yeah the phrase 'wheatish' was repeated so many times that i lost count of it.

5:53 AM  
Blogger I said...

Anon 'n'

>>>would you marry a girl who would strip dance and read novels on SEX all the time?<<<

If you know someone like that, please lemme know. Let's see how it works out.

8:53 AM  
Blogger Me said...

anons(one who gave the link & another who enjoyed reading it): u guys have lot of time....that seems larger than a phd thesis....:p

11:40 AM  
Blogger Me said...

i read some of them but not all...

11:40 AM  
Blogger Deepa said...

Ajay, we haven't lost hope on men coz of "fair" ones like you.;-)
Anon, I went to that site. Was it hilarious or what? My God!
D&C, hope you are enlightened after Bubby's explanation.
Chanakya, the day men and women take things in their hadn and go scouting around for themselves instead of outourcing the job, things would get better.
Me, bloggers ey majority vetti gumbal adhula nakkal a comment veraya ungalukku?;-)
Swathi, run for dear life.

1:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi SS,
Are you one of the people who got jobbed by these ads and married this girl and later found out that she is not homely and she doesn't read Harry potter and she is pretty much a strip dancer. dude, if you are frustrated you should visit a hooker and take out your frustration. You shouldn't do that by calling all girls parents as pimps. How old are you anyway?.

Anon2

2:10 PM  
Blogger I said...

The trouble with u, anon n, is that u take urself too seriously.

2:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

//'sex samiyar' to start with...then 'aringar anavin thambi' for a while...and now simply 'SS'....funny dude.//

hey, now he is "I"....wat next?

2:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

this "i" dude wants to imitate nilu...but is not bold enough to write in his own name...

2:31 AM  
Blogger Amrita said...

quite a debatable topic...nice post though. yes, i agree, some of the ads, especially demands for Aiswarya rai or fair skinned beuties sound ludicrous. u do feel like banging the heads of these guys against the hardest thing near u

10:25 AM  
Blogger Amrita said...

quite a debatable topic...nice post though. yes, i agree, some of the ads, especially demands for Aiswarya rai or fair skinned beuties sound ludicrous. u do feel like banging the heads of these guys against the hardest thing near u

10:25 AM  
Blogger Amrita said...

quite a debatable topic...nice post though. yes, i agree, some of the ads, especially demands for Aiswarya rai or fair skinned beuties sound ludicrous. u do feel like banging the heads of these guys against the hardest thing near u

10:25 AM  
Blogger Deepa said...

Anon, I understand how much you hate SS. BTW, mine is not a love marriage. I dont blame you for hating him. I hate him too. Read this post Hate and Appreciate that I wrote about him. After reading his comment, the only thing I remembered was his jab at Harry Potter. I thought tht was funny. And, he knows how I've insulted or berated him before for his blanket hatred for things.
Amrita...lol

11:17 AM  
Blogger Anusha Parthasarathy said...

Deepa

Please moderate your comments. Dont give a room for fellows like SS to comment. You know it psyches me out when I read such a comment to a good/funny post. Morever it screws the very purpose of blogging and reading. Afterall one spends leisure time reading good books, blogs. Unfortunately there are some of us who are super emotional(cant help it, we are born with that)and it gives us another reason to feel disgusted to know there is someone out there, a fellow Desi who thinks cheap, writes cheap stuff.

Hope you understand...

Meanwhile I checked his blog and found yet another disgusting post or whatever you call that crap...
He has written:-
"Feminism 101: Let the women be on top during sexual intercourse"

Looks like this fellow's system is screwed up! What a pity, education at PSBB, IIT, and a Univ here have been wasted...

Sigh!

9:07 PM  
Blogger I said...

Well, Anon & Anusha. I am ready to forget the fact that u are incorrect, hysterical and judgemental. But seriously, what is it u are trying to prove? That u have morals??

If difference of opinion bothers u so much, may be u should not be on the Internet. Cartoons are on, 24 x 7.

9:37 PM  
Blogger ashok said...

haha...LOL@ 'i's reply...he is quite a charecter.

7:06 AM  
Blogger Deepa said...

Guys, I've removed "offensive" comments. Lets put an end to fights here. I am extremely uncomfortable with that. I add "PLEASE" here to stress my point.
Anusha, I don't moderate comments because I think everyone should have the right to comment freely, especially in a non-serious (and not-so-popular) blog like mine. Maybe I'll do so in the near future.;-)

11:14 PM  
Blogger Anusha Parthasarathy said...

Deepa
:)
Btw did you pass out of PSBB in '98? I am from Adarsh. passed out of school in 1998.

2:07 AM  
Blogger Deepa said...

Anusha, I am much older than you.:-)

10:46 AM  
Blogger I said...

Not that I was bothered to be offended. But Deepa, ur benchmark of "offensive" is interesting. You deleted a generalized statement that was percieved to be offensive, by a stretch. But not personalized statements that might be taken as offensive, within reason.

Ever considered a career with CBS News?

11:24 AM  
Blogger Me said...

I am much older than you.:-)

innimelendhu i'll call u deepa aunty.....:p

11:38 AM  
Blogger Deepa said...

SS, what else need to be deleted? I deleted the ones that are offensive not to an individual thats arguing here but to other general readers (the ones who know me) I deleted yours and anotehr one by anon who berated all IIT-ians. CBS Career? cool. ANyday better than Fox News.
Me, I think I shouldn't have used the word "much". Anusha, I am just plain older than you.;-)

3:36 PM  
Blogger Anusha Parthasarathy said...

:) :)

What are ages?They are mere numbers :)Dont you agree?

9:24 PM  
Blogger Mahadevan said...

Even when the girls' parents advertise, they start with "fair-complexioned, domestically trained etc. Obsession with 'fair complexion' is mainly in south of Vindhyas. 'Domestically trained' I am unable to understand - not wild, perhaps.

5:13 AM  
Blogger Rajesh said...

All I can say is "I was lucky". Didn't have to advertise.

I saw an Ad. which said
Sex - Boy
Looking for - Girl
Height - High (I think they meant tall)
Salary - Yes

I would have used that to advertise mine if I had to.

12:06 AM  
Blogger Rajesh said...

Deepa,
You wd have fared better to delete Amrita's triple clicks than the "sensitive" comments. I missed the fun, I guess. Damn! work.

Btw. K. K. Nagar... PSBB... Do I know you or something...

12:09 AM  
Blogger Deepa said...

Anusha, yes I agree.:-)
Mahadevan, lol...that was funny.
Rajesh, maybe we know each other. I am sure we'd at least have some common links/friends.

11:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

:)

nice post. I think there's a problem with what to decide on. People usually base their search on parameters that are too specific, so specific in fact that they lose on what they are looking for. whatever homely may mean dictionary meaning or the matrimonial lingo meaning), thats a vague parameter because that can not be judged in a meeting or 2. the other parameters like fair skin, tall, b'ful,these are the ones on which most decisions are taken. Do they know what they are looking for. For these are commons, but then we are talking about the search of commons.

Love is an abused term... love marriages. . dont know whatthat means....probably a marriage leads to love...

3:52 AM  
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