Me Thinks

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Gift Registry

Years ago, when I went to a big shop in the nearby mall, I saw a couple standing next to a computer and doing something in that, selecting an item in the shop and doing something again in the computer. When I asked my friend what it was she said they were probably creating a wedding registry. She told me how people go to a popular shop, select items that they need, add them in a registry and in their wedding invite tell the invitees that their registry is open in so and so shop and people could get gifts for them from the registry. I found it very strange and funny. I also thought it was silly of someone to tell people what they should gift. Its like saying "Your gift might probably be useless, so why don't you get me something that I need and you'll get it in this shop." Was I naive (or parochial)?

In my recent trip to India, we had a big family function. I was helping my relatives unpack the gifts. And quite expectedly there were many wall-clocks. People still think some families don't have any clock on their walls and help them by getting wall-clocks. And some people are scared that the gift-receivers might re-gift that precious wall-clock, so they print their name and the dial says "With Best Compliments from XYZ to ABC". To save space on the dial, they could've said "Sponsored by XYZ". Suddenly there is this omnipresent "gopuram" that seems to be at the No.1 position in the gift items list these days. Its a black gopuram on top of a wooden base and there is something embossed in silver on the black piece and a glass kind of acts as a shield to the silver piece. Its amazing how many people think this is a cool gift. When my enemy accidentally invites me for his/her family function, I am going for this gopuram. If you receive 5 of them or even 7, you can somehow arrange them in your living room and explain to guests that you are not selling them but what do you do when you get about 15 to 20 of them? I know its the thought that matters and any gift should be accepted with grace blah blah blah... but these wallclocks and gopurams really test the patience of the hosts. If my host wasn't aggravated, I was.:-) And I was thinking of gift registries. I guess I was naive AND parochial. Being the one that takes a middle ground on every issue, I know what I'd do. I am going for "No gifts please" henceforth. And I sympathise and empathise with Ammani's girl.

18 Comments:

Blogger The Talkative Man said...

But spare a thought for the gift-ers too, 500 people buy gifts for a wedding and there will be repetitions, no matter how much they scratch their heads. Personally, I think most of the useful stuff the newly-weds need would be gifted by their close relatives. It would be more useful if they request the invitees to give cash offerings which could later be turned in to some NGO.

"When my enemy accidentally invites me for his/her family function, I am going for this gopuram"
=> he he he :)

7:17 PM  
Anonymous Bubby said...

Deepz,

Shahrukh (during his Baazigar days) & Aamir khan (1988 la eduttha) photos potta photo frame-a nee eppadi marakkalam?

I received a couple of sachets, which looked like shampoo sachets, as gifts for my wedding.Unnippa paatha podu, it said "Car cleaning liquid, free with XYZ product".

One more excellent gift that I received was an eversilver kudam with initials which read "MJ".'MJ' turned out to be the daughter of the giftor(!).

Other irritating gifts:

The umpteen VELLI vilakkus, Vigraham of a Krishnar on an oonjal,
Venkatachalapathy padams,
spoon holders with forks/spoons/venna-vetti knifes, Tea-cup sets
Set of 6 glass tumblers

My parents received some 10 copies of Ramayanam & Mahabaratham books from various people on their Sashtiabdapoorthy. 60 vayasaana(dan) ramar-krishnar history padikkanumnu sattama?

Ammani's favourite gift: "Sweet home" ezhudina scenery framed padam. So next time you meet her, you know what to give, right?She loves them, her hobby is to collect such antiques [Preferred scenery:Two lauve birds koochi kooing]

Talkative man: There are far more useful gifts. A friend of mine gifted a nice telephone notebook with handmade paper, for my wedding. Simple but quite thoughtful, i say.
Another gift was a nameboard with our names written on it. Quite useful!

12:11 AM  
Blogger ashok said...

hey D'..good to see u after a loooong break...

btw, i find this registry idea very practical.
I received a total of 33 clocks/ time pieces and 21 tea cupsets on my wedding...sigh*

7:27 AM  
Blogger Me too said...

Think the gift registries are cool? One of my husband's colleague commented once that he had to find out about the gift registry fast as time delay would cost him big(the cheap ones would've been taken!)

I had to fight a big battle to have 'No gifts please' in my wedding invitation(apparently, the elders felt it rude to say 'no gifts' even with a 'please'!).

11:53 AM  
Blogger I said...

I am thinking of presenting the Kama Sutra for my best friends' wedding.

4:53 PM  
Blogger Anusha Parthasarathy said...

These days people gift "Divinity" frames on all occasions. That seems to be the order of the day!

Probably the best gift would be a gift coupon of a shoppe like LifeStyle, Westside, or some jewellery shoppe. Unfortunately in India, now all shoppes have this concept of gift coupons...Every damn shoppe in the US has this concept though !

10:53 PM  
Blogger NaiKutti said...

"No gifts please" is a good idea and i am now seeing it in some marriages/receptions i attend... i prefer cash/gift checks to items though they may not really remember as much as they would if it was a "thanjavur painting" :-)

12:49 AM  
Blogger Vivhyd said...

1st time here.. I actually like the idea of creating a gift registry like its done here in the US (I think the concept cud catch on in India too ) cos a gift is doubly precious when its something thats needed. Nothing wrong in asking for a particular one esp if its gonna be useful than ending up 5 of the same.. Its useless then.. We are kinda bottled up with the notion that asking for a particular gift seems more like insult but as long as it is reasonable.. its alrite.. a timely post considering I had something of the same.. :)

10:53 AM  
Blogger Deepa said...

TTM, even I think cash (however small the amount) is better than such useles gifts.
Bubby, roflol...I cant believe they gave those sachets...lol. True, sweet home is another "great" gift.:-)
Thanks Ashok. 33 clocks??!! Now you know whom not to invite those people for your kid's first B'day?:-) Even if you are forced to, just tell them you have become very punctual these days.
Me too, there is always a flip-side to everything. If the inexpensive ones are taken, one can give cash instead. Great that you acually had the right to meddle with your wedding invite. Lucky you!:-)
AAT, thats not a bad idea.
Anusha, I know. whats with people these days?!
Karthik, yes thanjavur painting is probably one exception.
vivhyd, welcome.:-)

12:42 PM  
Blogger Me said...

before a decade or so most ppl gave money[.....oru yellow envelope la rooba note pottu adhoda oru ...oru rooba coin o illa note o potu kudu paanga....]

ippo lam useless gift present panradhey oru velaya pochi.....

btw deepa dont say ....u went and had south indian kalayaana saapadu.....

2:44 PM  
Blogger ammani said...

Bubby, ROFL! Gyaabagam varudey! Esp the foto frame and the kudam! Kashtam. Why can't we revert to good old manja cover with moie?
Good one, Deepa and thanks for the link

2:30 AM  
Blogger Casement said...

The best gift that I have ever received is a hydroponic tomamto plant:)

8:39 AM  
Blogger Deepa said...

Me, yes I did. And I know thats at the top of your pyramid.
Thanks Ammani.:-)
Casement, best gift indeed.:-)

3:39 PM  
Anonymous Bubby said...

Deepz, thanks for your gifts. appove kedachadu.Thanks. But I am quit disappointed that you didnt buy a sweet home /glass tumblers / fork-spoon set. Next time, kandippa :)

Mail-kku aprom reply pandren

10:47 PM  
Blogger Deepa said...

Bubby...lol, Manchigo.

11:19 AM  
Blogger Rajesh said...

Odi poi kalyanam pannikalam. Aaana grahapravesam madhiri function kku enna panradhu .... You made me think.
I got Home Depot/Lowe's gift cards. I am happy.

3:05 PM  
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