Me Thinks

Monday, September 25, 2006

God is a He

I am pretty sure God is masculine. I am so used to using He and Him when I refer to Him and wondered whether I am being a sexist. But now I've come to the conclusion that He is He (masculine). How else do you explain the bias in his creation?

He created men with a few emotions and only one surfaces at a time. And women with tens of thousands of them and almost all of them come to the fore at the same time. And there are a million inner voices talking to the woman simultaneously.

This happened some years ago when I was a new bride. Mr. Me and I were having the badly cooked lunch that I had made. I was talking over the phone while eating. Both of us were done eating and I was still on the phone. So my husband took his plate and my plate and washed them both while I was still chatting with some friend. I exclaimed "Wow, what a man!" a la Abbas in Padayappa. I was surprised that he did the whole thing very matter-of-factly and didn't have that I-washed-your-plate-you-know look. All the voices inside me smiled generously.

A few months ago, we were having dinner, a good one, also by me.;-) I cooked, set the table, infact even served food for everyone at the table like a good wife of old tamil movies. Just as we were finishing dinner and I got up to wash my plate, my husband got a call. He was talking and was the last one to get up. By then I had even cleared the table. He finished his dinner and got up while talking. I said "Hello, your plate?" He took it and washed it as he was talking. Then all the voices in me woke up with a renewed vigour.

One of them said "Thats nice of you gentleman".
Then another said "Whats wrong with you? Washing his plate won't cost you much". Another said "well, you would've if he had asked".
And then another "Its not that you did something bad. You just said 'your plate'. Stop feeling guilty. Its not that you've never washed his plate before, you are tired today".
Another said "hello, the plate is washed now, whats this argument about?"
And another asked "He seems OK with it, why are you worried?".
Another one said "Maybe you can make it up tomorrow by washing his plate without him asking".
Then another one said "I am pretty sure the only voice in his head is thinking about the new laptop configuration and not this stupid plate" and finally my favourite voice said "Just SHUT UP and get a life."

God! Its nice being a woman but not easy.:-)


Blogger funkaboy said...

Nice one. I was blissfully unaware of the massive parallel computations of emotions in a girl's mind till I read the book "Self Made Man" by Norah Vincent.

1:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

multi-headed muddle-head :)

2:17 PM  
Blogger D LordLabak said...

funkaboy thanks and welcome to this space. I haven't read that book. Will try it now.
Selva, should be single-headed muddle-head, right? I kind of expected an MBA-style analysis of parallel emotions, the cause-effect etc like you did for the Sastrigal at jikku's.

2:28 PM  
Blogger Me said...

...what :o u started hearing voices....idhuku dhan too muchaa megaserial paaka koodadhu nradhu....

...deepa eppadi irundha nee...ippadi aaayitiye ...:'( :'(

2:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just when I though I should quit bloghopping and commenting, some vague muddlehead gets me back to the addiction :(

2:39 PM  
Blogger rads said...

women think too much :D

3:51 PM  
Blogger Syam said...

LOL @ ME... :-)

athu sari when god created man he set up only one voice inside him...when he created women he thought of some enhancements and added multiple voice without knowing it will go out of control :-)

4:20 PM  
Blogger Prabhu said...

thats exactly how simple we think :)

nice post, me likes..

5:38 PM  
Blogger The Talkative Man said...

I too hear a voice when utensils need to be washed. It works only on Monday mornings.

6:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hahahaha...funny how men and women think so differently. Loved this post. First comment here.

8:14 PM  
Blogger vishy said...

ha ha.. I guess.. its not with men sans emotions... but its more about how a guy changes after marriage... your husband probably now knows that all that hes got to do is keep listining to you.. and not speak back...

women from what you narrate.... they never change.. I guess .. even after their marriage

8:37 PM  
Blogger Me too said...

"bias in his creation" - tell me about it!!

In a similar situation, I would even go up to him to confess my guilt and he would say, 'Oh, did I do that (then)?' Apparam ennatha solla!!!

9:51 PM  
Blogger Ginkgo said...

oh maybe u shud try eating from the same plate..:-)

who will wash the plate then :-D

11:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

like ginko says, u shud eat from the same plate after he finishes to complete ur typical old movie heroine role. and then obviously u wash it.

now i realize why people said i am more of a man. none of the chars seem to talk inside me. there is only one which alwayz says 'lavu, u r right'...:)

4:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

:D i like what syam says...
indeed its true i say! too many voices, too many characters who need to get a life...pointing it out to them doesnt help by much tho, unfortunately.

8:42 AM  
Blogger Mahadevan said...

Men too have many emotions. But there is a method in the madness and you feel that they do not have many emotions and only one emerges at a time.

Those who hear voices, people start worshipping them.

Many of us crowd our minds with too many things at a time. We mentally draft a blogpost while boiling milk or we suddenly remember we had not responded to a mail, while watchin "Selvi".

9:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Apparently men are left-brain dominated in general, and women have their right-brains active most of the time. So, while men tend to be more logical and communicate clearly, women tend to be more emotional and their replies to their husbands' sincere "What do you want me to do now, darling?" goes like "Oh, nothing!" - when they've just had a quarrel! Beware, that "nothing" has a lot of meanings behind it...

Just some hear-say ;-)

10:23 AM  
Blogger D LordLabak said...

Me, mega-serial paakkamaye indha nelamai enakku. No SUN TV conxn @ home.
Selva, first stupid and now muddle-head. How do you make it so sound un-offensive?;-)
rads, join the gang. But its not a bad thing you know..
syam, there is a joke that God made man first because he wanted to create a rough draft before the final masterpiece. Kettadhunda idha?
Prabhu and Sangeeta, Thank you.
TTM, at least you are happy the rest of the 6 days.:-)
vishy, in families where women run the show, teh least the husbands can do is listen.
Me Too, as I said its not easy for us, right? ;-)
ginks, same plate won't work for us. I am little finicky. My vegetable shouldn't touch the rice and the sambar should be poured over the vegetable even by mistake and too many specifications. I am (rather, he is) better off eating in a different one.
Lavu, your inner voice is your big chamcha. It just exists for namesake, has no control over you. Thats a good thing.:-)
Mahadevan Sir, I don't like to call it madness. For some reason I strongly believe men can't multi-task. Thinking about a blog is just a single thought that goes on when there is some other action. That can hardly be compared to the million ones we have.:-)
TPI, women are emotional I agree. you can call men more rational in a given situation where emotion is involved. Logical is a wrong word.

1:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have posted comments with links on your older posts - are you receiving?

1:30 PM  
Blogger I said...

Women are God's punishment for wanting sex. So God ahs to be a woman.

1:34 PM  
Blogger Syam said...

//rough draft before the final masterpiece//

thats what I meant...women are enhanced version of men (but lot of bugs):-))))

2:24 PM  
Blogger anantha said...

Thought I'd answer you here...
That place, sans the ship is not where I live. I like half hour away in the suburbs, but that place is a weekend haunt. Lots of desis around.

2:50 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

12:09 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

That's funny. I am visualizing multiple Deepas, like the scene in Anniyan where all the Vikrams come out at the same time :D

This Dave Barry piece always has me ROTFLOL. Similar theme.

12:11 AM  
Blogger Ananya S P said...

Yeah yeah there seem to be too many inner voices in us which make us make right decisions unlike men ;)
Glad to see you back to posting :)

1:46 AM  
Blogger Raju said...

I think it is my first time here...LOL'ed at ur post.. His phone conversation must have made him forgotten.. otherwise, what do u think of us? So many thoughts surge in and out of brain, all in few secs, after doing something 'fishy' like what u mentioned... the silence after that is mind-numbing.. No clue what to expect. .. is there a storm awaiting? or was it a no-issue at all? blah blah blah... mmm..

11:10 AM  
Blogger Ajay said...

welcome back, Deepa..
//"Wow, what a man!" // lol...
once wrote abt this sexist stuff on my blog..

2:23 PM  
Blogger APAM NAPAT said...

Manasakshi karuppu dress la onnu, vella dress la onnu varum. Padathula paathuruken. Ivalo inner voices eppadi distinguish pannardhu visually?

Good comeback post - a la Sachin.

9:55 PM  
Blogger I said...

sachin is a wuss

10:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Deepa, I have tagged you.


6:01 AM  
Blogger Me said...

enna deepa bubby oda sandai yaa...avanaga aalaye kaanam?

11:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


10:34 PM  
Blogger D LordLabak said...

selva, yes, I did receive.
Syam, bugs dhan kadikkum. What you just said is a kadi.;-)
Anantha, thats right. So many Indians there. Would be a major change from where I live right now. I'll probably see you sometime there but you can't recognise me.:-)
Prakash, thanks for that link, I've bookmarked it. Funny. Multiple Deepas konjam prachanayana vishayam.;-)
Anusha, sabash sariyana potti. And thanks.:-)
Raju, welcome. Is it good to be unpredictable?
Thanks Ajay and I've read that post.
Rajesh, I always thought you were funny but "a la Sachin" is funnier. No complaints thought. Naan Sachin fan aacchey. :-)
I, how rude!
Jay, well, I've obeyed.
Me, Bubby is busy talking to her voices.;-)

2:08 PM  
Blogger AK said...

nice one

6:24 PM  
Blogger Krishna said...

Great now I not only will have to take care of my would be wife (whereever she is god help her for marrying me) but also all the voices inside of her. Thanks for adding another worry, as though getting married is not worrying enough :)

8:16 PM  
Blogger mommyof2 said...


2:33 PM  

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