Me Thinks

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

KANK review

My friend Bubby a.k.a Chinna Ammani is the kind of friend one prays for. She goes out of the way to do stuff for you. She'd be willing to suffer if that would make your life better. Yes, my friends, I asked her to watch KANK (she would disown me if I say Kabhi Alvida na Kehna) and send a review. She did go out of the way literally to watch it and here is her review. (I guess most of the readers of this blog can understand tamil.)

KANK - kazhutaruppu , aruvai n kadi!
- Oru paarvai

1)karan-ji : We all love our parents - We love mummy, miss daddy etc but do we go about writing this on every piece of paper we see? I miss you daddy.. I love you mummy.. idellam pada title kku munnadi tevayaaa? I thought i went for an english padam called "I miss you daddy" when i came for ur film.. paatungga! padam aarambikaradukku munnadiyee neraya per tappaana padatukku vandutooamnu ezhundu poitaangaa..kodutthu vaithavargal
Theatre la irunda 10 perla 5 per ezhundu poittanga.. 5 peroda kaali theatre la unga padam paatengaana.. adu enna annaachi! ticket book pannumbodu.. "this seat is not available, that seat is not available" nnu theatre ticket counter la oree rouse udaraanga.. theatre la irunda 10 perukku ippadi altaappu vendaam . ippadi film kaata solli instructions aa from ur end?

And before you start shooting for your films do you Soodam yetthi sathiyam pannufy infront of saami photo that your film will be 3 hours long ? [minimum duration] ... en vaazhkaila 3 hours 10 minutes waste-u saar! ungalukum Ekta kapoor kkum bayangara poattti-a? ava serial- a izhukkara.. neenga padatha ippadi javvvvvvvvvvvu muttai madiri izukkareenga

And saar.. We have heard this "pyaar kab mohabbat hota hein... mohabbat aur dosti kab ishq hotee hein... pyaar dosti nahin..." pondra international dialogues a billion times before in your movies wonly.. dialaak-a maathuda deei

2 Congrajulasions costume director manish-ji for inventing a new type of saree - the saree which rani mugarjee wears in the film, the POONAL SAREE.. you must have heard of a gujju type saree, south indian saree, bihari style saree etc.. this is different. this is a POONAL SAREE.. how else would you call a saree worn like a Poonal? ennamo pongappa! manish -saar.. unga ooru 30,000 rooba saaree enga oorla Poonal-aa 30 roobakku 2 kedaikkudu saar!

3) In the 70s and early 80 s it was Nirupa roy, then came Reema Lagoo in late 80s and 90s.. Presenting Kiran kher, the hindi movie mummy of the new millennium..Now there is major competition on screen between Kiran kher and preeti jinta [who play maamiyar and marumagal] on who opens their bajji vaai bigger. Neeya Naana..Both with their bajji vaais and the same pulicchu pona ishq, wafaadaar, mohabbat, khatir etc kinda dialaaks..Tirundungadaa deeei

4) saaruk kaan-ji : inda oru film la mattundaan you have the look perfect and you look your age.
ofcourse, ur acting is the same. i have a sincere suggestion. Why do you waste ur time and energy running from one location to another giving those shots? let ur co-artistes be filmed as per script.Your shots from ur earlier films can be cut and paste.. ade kai-virippu [ungallukku pana patraakuraiyaa? en rendu kaiyayum ivvalavu virichi pichai edukareenga?] , ade mukki mukki azhugai [ ungalluku constipation aa?]..
My friend who had accompanied me for the film , throughout, was telling me that Shahrukh's look in the film reminded her of something and towards the end she said "Gnabagam vandaachchu! Saaruk resembles an azhugina vadumaangaaaaaa" Right! take a closer look! saaruk really resembles an azhugina vadumaangaa!

5) ranee mugarjee-ji: If preeti jinta wears those tight dress etc thats coz she is a high profile fashion magazine editor blah blah.. But did you really have to show off your gundu kaai with those sleevless salwars and off-shoulder gowns where ur sadhai pidungi vazhinjifyes? sad! We want the Rani from Paheli, Black, bunty aur babli.. And ur watch ur makeup ma'am! Neenga Newyork la poatta makeup inga Mumbai varikkum varudu!

6) Abhisek annachi : paavam ungala jaalra poda vittututaanga!! paravalla.. konjam nallave nadichirukkenga.. please change ur stylist! ade 'bluff master' look.. ungalluku role-e kammi.. adanala ungala pathi inda post-um kammidaan

7) pretti madam : neenga toongumbodu kooda high heels la daan toonguveengala padathulla?
seri anda disco paatula, avvalavu kuttai skirt, high heels pottundu kaala tooki aadalainnu yaaravadu azhudaangala? romba kashtappattu dance aada try pannirukka vendam.. and madam, 'Salaam namaste' padathula konjam slim aa irundeenga.. adukkunnu adula potta maadiriye dress idulayumaa? Sadai pidungi vazhiyidu.. paatukunga!

8) TK: Free! Ilavasam! muft! Oru payyan cast pannaal appa ilavasam!! udane mundungal! Offer available still stock lasts ! Inda amitabh bachchanukku enna aachu? he plays sexy sam who @ thondu kezham [TK)vayasu is gilpaansing with women.. and flirts with kiran kher, who is saaruk's mother in the film.. and even passes remarks about kiran kher's body and kiran medam is like "Uffoo! sam! tu hamesha aisa hai" They are NRI punjus you see.. very 'broad minded'.. kashta kaalam! Everytime TK comes on screen, you want to just slap him.. He is terribly artificial, as always and trying to be cool.. yo man types.. and ofcourse he does utter his "mohabbat ki khaatir ki ishq ki zulfon ki bahon mein " kinda dialaaks before mandaya pottufying ! taangalada saami..
http://lordlabak.blogspot.com/2006/06/total-trash.html la comments section la naa sonna madiriye nadandadu with respect to TK.. karan jogar en idea va copy adichutaanee.. adappavee

9)Shankar - ehsaan -Loy : Did ur brief to the songs composition go like this from karan jogar?
" A song with fast beats and some balle balle beats for aam junta /NRI s to play during their shaadis.. A party song for Mumbai/Delhi kids to dance during their birthday parties, A title track with Sonu nigam where he mukki mukki sings [Sonu-ji ungallukum vayitru koLaraa?]and yes, the title track should be an hour long , one duet song sounding similar to the title track , one song for saaruk kaan where he can virichify his kai.."
Unga paatellam bayangara repetitive.. boring

10) cameraman anil mehata avargale : neenga padam panna shots ellam paata NY ore kuppaya irukkum pola irukkeee? eppa parthalaum Dry leaves parandu poramadiri .. last-a count pannapodu oru 20 times ade kamichaanga..

11) Tundu beedis : how despo can people get to be part of a Karan jogar filim? Arjun rampal is on screen for egggjactly 30 seconds , john abragam for 11 seconds and kajol for 2 seconds.. I say, even the guy who says "Saar post!" in all Doordarshan Tuesday dramas has a better role.
Dei.. alpangada neenga!

Anbaanaa Blog vaasargale :- If you want to pazhivaangify someone , do buy a ticket for kabhi alvida naa kehna and gift it to them.. ada vida pazhivaangara method vera eduvumee kedayadu.

And finally, Deepa avargale , unnoda guest blog ezhudaa i spent Rs 362.50 [ticket selavu dandam-180 + petrol kaasu- 62.50+ popcorn -20 + dinner -60 + driver batta / overtime -40 ]
naa kashtapattu sambaadichaa kaasa kari aakitten.. neenga inda pannata marakkama wire pannidunga ;-)

23 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

why so much ado about...after all an Hindi movie ?

10:18 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Review va grudge aa?
Rajesh

12:08 PM  
Blogger Prabhu said...

Funny description......

mothathula typical hindi padam maadhiri iruku nu solunga...

intha hindi kaaranunga epo thaan "5 years later" slide maatha poraangalo....
i miss u daddy - LOL :)

1:28 PM  
Blogger Syam said...

indha movie ellam kasu kuduthu paarkavum aalu iruka, kuttichuvaru kooda indha padam paarthitu vandhu blog la ore pulambings :-)

2:17 PM  
Blogger Syam said...

kaamedy review :-)

2:18 PM  
Blogger b a l a j i said...

indha aruvai padatha naan advance booking panni pathen... in fact i think i dozed off somewhere in the middle.. anyways mega serial madhiri kadhai irundhadhaala context miss pannala

10:33 PM  
Blogger RaajK said...

Rs.362.50 for a single person?

Naan ithala 7 padam paarthu iruppen :)

11:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ithu sooper review machi :)

Hari

2:41 AM  
Anonymous Deepa said...

Deeps, I was waiting for you to post this review from Bubby.

True & Hilarious review. ROTFL on Poonal saree ;)

6:03 PM  
Blogger Imsai Iyer the 1st said...

for those of u who dont want to waste money but at the same want to see the movie bcoz

a.everyone else has seen it
b.u wanna bitch about it

its online @ kawaonline

6:33 PM  
Blogger Matter Mahadevan said...

next movie from k-jo,

kabhi gay kabhi straight

5:59 AM  
Blogger Jay said...

hahaha nice funny review. I can imagine the horrendous 3 hours spent though.

I have written something similar about my thougthts on hindi movies. Feel free to drop by! (Sorry about the self promo, cheeky me!)

3:25 AM  
Blogger Prabhu said...

on second looks - tickets for this movie 180Rs -a??
anyaaayamm.....

11:09 AM  
Blogger Deepa said...

Nonthu nool ayitengapola erukku.. padam parthu...
paavam ga nenga.. athula padam parthoma ( pakama kanna moodikittoma... theatere la).. veliya vanthathum maranthu ponoma nnu ellama... ungala eppadi ..review ezhutunga nnu vere himsa pannatainga elle... azhvathenga... my sympathies are with you..

ethuvaraikkum KJ padam parkarathuelle nnu viratham eruntheen...appo than
NDTV la KANK ooda promo katinanga ( onlocation shots - exclusive interviews with AB-SRK-RM-ABjr) promo parhtathukku appuram any tit-bit abt KJ.. parkave theveille nnu mudive panniten...

etho padam pogama thapichutten:-D

12:16 PM  
Blogger Ginkgo said...

haha ippdi thooya tamil la hindi padatoda review padichu evvlo naal aachu:-)

Maybe as a sign of appreciation, Deepa u shud get her a DVD of the movie when it is available..as well as one on Making og KANK.....:-D

1:59 PM  
Blogger Deepa said...

Rajesh, enna anon aayitta?;-)
Prabhu, just to be fair, not "all" hindi movies are bad. Most of them are.:-)
Syam, I'll check the other review also. yeah this one is kaamedy.
Balaji, advance booking is a little too much, I say.;-)BTW, what was the attraction?
raaj, mumbai maanagarm is different.
Hari, I thank on my friend's behalf.
Deepa, even I laughed the most for poonal saree.
Imsai, as usual OC la paatthuttiya? Thanks fo the link though. I want to watch it for both the reasons.;-)
Matter.M, I have fallen in love with that title. Chancey illa.;)
deepa, welcome to my blog.
ginks, thats a good idea. I am sure she'd thank me for the rest of her life.:-)

9:05 AM  
Blogger ashok said...

wow...thanks bubby! saved my weekend :)

9:10 AM  
Blogger Deepa said...

tamil girl, I just checked your blog.

10:57 AM  
Blogger Twisted DNA said...

That's a good review :) You definitely need my Craptastic ;)

11:57 PM  
Blogger Casement said...

Deepa, ask her to write a review for Omkara as well. I am contemplating over spending abt 30$ on that movie. She could review it for less than 1/3rd of my cost. Another outsourcing opportunity there!

5:37 PM  
Anonymous Bubby said...

SUNTV Top 10 style la sollanumna
OMKARA - Over vaandhi.
Casement - ur $30 saved

10:31 AM  
Blogger Aravindh said...

pangaali...naanum satyam theatre la intha padatha paathutu ...chi chi... azhuthu vanthirukayn...oru naai bday treatnu kootitu ponaan avan bday va vaazhka poora maraka maataan....good and funny description mate...i liked it.. :)

4:21 AM  
Anonymous Nothings aplenty said...

LOL! man! Loved the tamizh..absolutely...felt like being in chennai and listening to a coupla my friends talking...so much fun..

8:37 AM  

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