Me Thinks

Monday, November 21, 2005

Baby question

"When are you planning to have babies?" Why do some people ask a married couple without kids this question and funnily enough expect an answer giving them the exact timeframe around which a little one would be born? Its OK if the person that questions is close but thats not the case most of the time.
One of my friends was constantly asked this question and she turned to an agony aunt and asked the Aunt how she should answer as it was annoying and rude. The Aunt said, "Answer the question with another question like 'Why do you want to know?'". This poor friend of mine took that piece of advice and when an old lady asked the question, jumped and asked "Why do you want to know?" and then came the reply "Because you are already very old and its high time you have one". My friend wished she hadn't asked that question, she was doubly hurt by that rude statement.
Is there any way out for people who don't want to sound rude or say "Shut Up, you are not going to raise my baby anwyays. So its not your business"? I wish I could help my friend.
Whats even worse is this. Another not-so-young but pregnant woman asked the same friend "Are you trying?" Who in their right mind would pose that question? And who on earth would say yes and smile? What is with people and why are they constantly worried about others having babies!


Blogger Raju said...

I think this is my first comment in ur blog.

Well said about the 'over-curious well-wishers'.. Is there any rule saying that a couple should get a kid before x years of their marriage, or that a woman of should become a mom before some 'y' age?

Ivangalukku ellam vere velaiye illai.. We are also facing these kinda questions.. My answer: We decided to have a trouble-free life together for a few years atleast.. If they directly translate a kid to a trouble, fine.. sometime, rude answers will help..

6:48 PM  
Blogger NaiKutti said...

in india i think its worse... whenever ppl get-together (like in marriages, functions) these kinda questions pops up like "enna vishyam, kalyanam aagi ivalavu naal achu..."... i think raju's reply is befitting :-)

10:32 PM  
Blogger Kaps said...

there is a podcast handling similar issues :-)

2:44 AM  
Blogger rads said...

True, annoying pesky folks. But I seriously think it's the older generation that still tries to fish for information. Most of the younger generation doesn't care, or at least know when not to intrude.
I have a friend, who handled this so differently. Instead of antogonising the 'aunties' she'd twist it around and pump them up for different ways of concieving. She'd enjoy the whole outpouring, while secretly relishing the fact that now she isn't 'bad' anymore for their plan on not wanting kids yet!

I thought that was pretty shrewd of her. The idea is to detach yourself and feel secure in your own decisions I suppose.

4:11 PM  
Blogger Nilu said...

Well, people ask anything thats personal I usually go with the Durdeneque "Why do you want to know? So that you can pretend you are interested in my life? Thanks and al. But am good"

11:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

lol.. i remember the joke.. i got fed up of old ppl asking me when's my turn in relatives marriages.. they stopped when i started asking the same ? to them during funerals :)

9:11 PM  
Blogger APAM NAPAT said...

Btw. How old are you? :-)

2:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

best regards, nice info » »

10:04 PM  

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