Me Thinks

Friday, January 30, 2009

Planned Marriage

My cousin is getting married. She is my first cousin's brother-in-law's sister's 2nd cousin but you know how it works - if you know them & you have some common relatives, they become your cousins. She is having an arranged marriage. I think everybody knows how arranged marriages work these days. At least most of the arranged marriages. The parents fix you up. You chat over the phone, meet a couple of times, talk about likes & dislikes and then you get married. Basically, you date with your parents' permission.

But, you know, love marriage sounds too cool. If she told everyone that she was having an arranged marriage, people would think she was getting married to a complete stranger or so she thinks. The girl and the boy seeing each other for the first time at their own wedding is passe (in 99% of the cases). But tell that to my cousin.

So she tells everyone she is having a "love cum arranged" marriage. She emails all of us and talks about how they had stealthily exchanged looks when he had come home to see her and how they held hands and enjoyed the sweet sounds of the birds chirping, autos honking, kids burping etc. The intention of the email is to tell one and all that they know each other so well and are having fun as "dating" couple. I am sure she is not alone. I wish all such couples the best this world can give. But please face it, you are having an arranged marriage. The more you try to conceal that, the more you look like a "wannabe". I know you get a kick when you refer to your fiance as your hubby. Its all part of that dreamy phase but please be careful when you pick your audience. Not everybody thinks that is cho chweet.

That being said, you and your fiance are sweet and Good Luck to both of you.

P.S - Its not you, its the economy

19 Comments:

Blogger Me said...

yaaru ezhudhinaadhu indha posta?...neengala illa murungakka sriramaa?

4:50 PM  
Blogger Deepa said...

OMG Me, do I actually sound like him here!?

8:38 PM  
Blogger MLC said...

well! ask her if she has the choice to call it off, if she finds (durng courtship days) tt she's nt "compatable enuf" .. if the answr is 'yes' thn u can't call it 'arranged' coz tt's one thing in arranged marriages tt u don't hv a choice with!

9:02 PM  
Blogger Deepa said...

MLC, I hope they are compatible and happy. I wouldn't dare ask that question to anyone. Paavam, I'll let them be.

9:09 PM  
Anonymous a stranger said...

so true, but it's one of those things that you just can't talk about, so you grin and say, "oh really, that's so cute!"

ps: you write infrequently, so i can't remember when i added you to my list, but i'm glad i did. :)

9:56 PM  
Blogger Blogeswari said...

Ha ha ha... ROFL Deepz.. Did you check out this girl's facebook or orkut profile? avan..oops avaroda pic irukkume? Either with his (US) car or at a hip n happening party with tol-mela kai and another kai with a drink (naanga romba maadern kannalam pa!)

7:43 PM  
Blogger Oracle said...

Never knew you had an angry young woman inside you...

chinna chirusungalna appadi ippadi thaan irrukkum :)

11:16 AM  
Blogger iamyuva said...

love or arranged....your judgment is not going to change her excitement.

letz face it..arranged marriage has evolved with greater flexibility and 'so called love' marriage is still far less (in % terms).

I guess, these days increasing pressure on urban adult to justify arrange marriage (why they are 'not capable for love marriage.!') which is triggering such invitation emails.

like-- one being hip ITjob('love marriage') with benefits and other is waster govt. job('arrange marriage) and the assumption is all govt. employee are lazy a*hole wasting national resources. but lets not forget ITcompany are firing these days (and creating-fat-do-as-i-say-dogs) and we do have very smart people/organization in public sector (like OSRO, ONGC,..)

6:07 AM  
Blogger Me too said...

Kaalam maari pochu! In those days, it used to be the other way round - for love marriages to look like it was arranged!

9:38 PM  
Blogger APAM NAPAT said...

Funny, mine was love cum arranged.

11:57 PM  
Blogger APAM NAPAT said...

Blogeswari,
that's so true. I just checked out my friend's fiance standing in front of a car.

12:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This post tells something abt ur age :)

ashok

12:04 PM  
Blogger Ajay said...

Arranged or love, marriage is baggage!

8:14 PM  
Blogger R K said...

love cum arranged marriage sounds a li'l yuckie!

9:55 PM  
Blogger Deepa said...

stranger, thank you. yes, very infrequent. But thanks for visiting.
Blogeswari, I am reluctant to blame the US maaplai here. You know how I feel about them.
Adhu right Oracle. BTW, enakku reply
pannu.
yuva, the intention is not to make her change. God no. I was just venting.
MT, indha kaalatthu pasanga....
Rajes, enna solla vara? Adhenna love-cum-arranged?
Ashok, adhey adhey!!:-)
Ajay, did you watch some Visu movie?
RK, are you saying this to me or Rajesh? I'll let him deal with this.:-)

10:13 PM  
Blogger Sudhakar said...

Be it love or arranged or love come arranged ,so long as things go well it is fine!!! Isn't that?

10:40 AM  
Blogger Anu said...

This is more my kind of post, the inner cynic in you came charging out!

1:33 AM  
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3:58 AM  
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4:44 AM  

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